he doesnt deserve me as most have said we have nothing in common and he makes me sad but as i sit here after cutting off my locks cant help but wish to turn back all the clocks it couldnt have been different i wouldnt want it that way but if it wasnt for him i might not be here today
so0o0o eric's coming around 12:40 today and we shall chill and wait for jane til 2:15. hopefully i can fax my resume a bunch of places from austin's house [i reeeaaally need a job]. i wonder how eric feels about starbux...hmmm...sushi's in the mood for coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
im freaking bored out of my mind. school is so gay. i dont think i've learned AnYtHiNg over the past two years. . .well i learned a lot, just not in school. anyhoo i want to learn to play bass. or a guitar. i tried to play the drums, trumpet, and i think trumbone for a week or two...but none of those worked in my favor. stupid instruments. stupid band camp. =P
austinnnn -->teach me. please. i'll pay. with copper coins [i think thats pennies, right?].....austin's cool. i like austin. eric on the other hand. well now, eric's an asshole. he wont sleep with porky, the chiken. he tells me his name doesnt suit him. otherwise he'd jump right on it.
god knows im bored and slowly going out of my mind. so zara called me last night around 10:30 and DAMN i wish i was able to go with her. she was meeting up with those guys from long island that i didnt get to meet last time. its like fate's preventing me from ever meeting these motherfuckers. AND i would've gotten to see her new car. mMmMm zara's new car..::drifts off in dream::
we shall chill tomorrow. . .but then again i think jane and my mom are taking me to the spa thing. . .or maybe its me and mom who are taking jane. . .u never know now-a-days. i want to go. and this is the last opportunity to go with my mommy before she goes into the hospital for that surgery. i wonder why i chose not to worry about that. i think i choose not to worry about everything that may or may not have a happy ending. . .im strange. it makes it seem like i dont care, but i do. i really love her even though she thinks i hate her. oh life. how weird it is.
i was so excited. . ..i havent been to the zoo since i was like 12. we saw spider monkeys. . .and lions. . .and it made me aggrivated that sick bastards keep all these beautiful animals in cages. i mean they were put on this earth to be free and run free. i think they deserve some form of respect. at least for the simple reason that god put them here. . .and all these sick motherfuckers have nothing better to do with their lives than catch those who have lives and imprison them. its like a freakin death sentence put on the innocent. . . . .yeah the zoo made me a bit angry on the inside. but oh my god the monkeys were so0o0o0o0o CUTE!!.....i feel like an asshole rejoicing this moment after bitching about it for a paragraph.
you know what we SHOULD do. . .is catch real criminals who rape young girls, give them a "species" name, and put them on display for everyone to see. . . ... .so u know little toddlers are walking through the park, they see tim in a cage and their parents go over to that sign by the cage: "ahh children, and this is what a rapist looks like" ::kids point and laugh::......side note: 'please do not feed the rapist (is kept on special diet)'
=D well anyway now that we had a good laugh i shall go and try to learn something about anything...or maybe just go to sleep. . .
oh yeah, austin inspired me to categorize my buddy list into three major categories: 1.PeOpleThatDontSucK 2.PeOple 3.AsshOles
such pain caused by a liar so lost every desire burning in this eternal fire created by my own my hopes ripped out and in my face were thrown a king sits at his throne laughing in my face creating scars within me that i cant erase a heartless king creating chaos everywhere he steps a mindless fling with his servant not acknoledging the girl has more emotions than he does land i followed his every command fulfilled every demand he allows me to go on without an effort of his own he kills a young cute girl and one day he'll be shown what's life and what a soul looks like he'll see how he took every drop hof my blood...how he wouldnt stop drinking it from my veins his kingdom no longer reigns god will show and illustrate how his actions stirred up hate and how he stole a pure fresh soul and how there is a price to pay for every drop of me he took away
depression caused by lack of her favorite obsession no longer in her posession its an addiction bodies moving together creating friction its withdrawl its an addict trying to stand tall no angel catching her fall just a hole deep and dark the drug has made its mark but the addict cant give in wont give in please one more time its not a crime just a skimpy dime she's trying her problem's avoided she's denying this addiction denial leads to conviction such an easy prediction just one more dose she wont shoot up her arm she'll snort it with her nose instead of smelling a rose the drug is turning her into a zombie she's becoming as vain as the chick dressed in abercrombie she's lost and addicted every moral created in the past contradicted she reaches for another bump before falling you gotta jump yet for once there was no landing among pathetic fakes now she wasn't standing her overdosed body motionless on the floor she'll never do it anymore she was never hardcore she was just trying to explore too bad she chose to quit only after that last hit